I'm a kind-hearted whore. Ha. Whore.

And still, i don't feel any better.
At all.
Really man, do you actually have to be a bitch just to be happy? Like a whore bitch, I mean? Because that's what or looks like.

Bitch, you get no love. :)

Yeah I feel like shit. Some rumor has spoilt my life. Do I want to cry? Yes. Do I want to die? Oh hell yes. :)
Because of this ugly ass-faced rumor that me an Abilash are dating, our friendship is totally ruined. Like totally ruined. He's being mean and weird. But I guess I understand. But it hurts. On top he's my ex-best friends ex. Which is so bitchy of me.
This really sucks. I dont have a life of my own.
Because of me Abilash is in trouble. Naturally he hates me. Well. Yeah.
And our id's got hacked. All because of me. Nice feeling.
Everything is messed up. Everything. It's getting added to my already long list if depressing stuff. I sound Emo, but that's just how I feel.
Life is just unfair. To me at least.
And people are self centered. You are Alone in this world. Nobody will care for you as much as you for yourself. That is what I have learnt. When the time comes, they'll all vanish re. All 'best friends'.
Hmph. :)

If I get into your pants, will I get your Blackberry? =)

I don't get two things in life:

1) Why do the bitches get everything and the ones who've never wanted/done bad, have to suffer like pieaces of crap?

2) Why do people not heed their own advice?

I should just become a bitch/slut and do whatever I want.

I don't WANT YOU.

Well, I really don't know what I see in the guy I barely know that makes it so difficult for me to get over him. It's been what, four months now and we dated for only a day I know, but there's just something about him that makes me fall for him every second. Everything I think of brings back HIM.
It's surprising how I've known him so little, but that's the amazing part I guess. It makes him special. Easy to talk to.
Nobody is ever going to understand the love I feel for him. Or is it love? Well, I don't understand that myself. But it is something different, something special for sure, or I wouldn't be clinging to him for so long. Specially seeing as how I change crushes like a woman changes clothes.
So what is it about him that makes me want him and him only? Why do I find myself trying o be distracted, when the cause of my very distraction is him?
I don't know. I really don't.
But I know that the girl he likes is really lucky. And she's a bitch for treating him the way that she does.
I guess that's why they say that the sweet girl falls for the jerk, and the jerk falls for the bitch, and the cycle goes on.
But my point is, WHY am I still not over someone who I dated for like a day?
He is cute. That I'll admit honestly. Person-wise, well, I don;t know.
I guess its just that I think I can break through the shells of people, and his shell, was hard as a oyster's. It hurt when I couldn't get through to him. What;s worse is that I didn't even get a chance to mend things with him because of my best friends. I know they want it for my good. But, anyway.
And you know what hurts? When your two-faced bitch of an ex-bestie can do what you could not.
Yeah, she did it. She broke through his shell. Obviously, because she talks to him day and night. I would love to do that, too. But life doesn't always go your way. And its frustrating. But in the end it;s all just for the best I guess. That's I tell everybody else around me who needs advice, so its time I apply it to myself. But Now I know, its hard.
Saying si easier than doing.
Well, anyway.I just want to...well, okay, if I have to be completely honest, I'd like to get back with him. But I know that even if it does happen ( which I;m 100% sure it won't), when the time comes for me to give my answer, I'm gonna be replying in the negative. It's like I want him, and yet I don;t for the shit he put me through.
And as they say, the grass is always greener on the other side. So, obviously right now, my heart literally yearns for him. That's right. It does.
Funny thing, this heart. It has a heart of it's own.

I walk a lonely road, The only one that I have ever known.

I feel so alone. Like nobody loves me. You know? That ugly feeling. Been there since 1 month now I guess.
First of all, I absolutely hate fighting with people. Cuz I've realized when I do, I fight with the rest to or act like a bitch. I hate this. So many things are messed up that I don't even have the energy to type it all.
But One thing I know. Only this blog, music and books are there for me when I most need consolation. :)
Forever alone, bro.
xx